英语笑话选》（Selected English Jokes）是英汉对照百万英语阅读计划丛书第ＩＩＩ辑之11，适合已掌握1500基本英语词汇的英语学习者阅读。
百万英语阅读计划（Million-Word Reading Project, 简称MWRP）是专门为中级英语学习者设计的英语阅读提高计划，读物共5辑，60册，提供160多万字的阅读量，读者对象为已具有初级英语水平的英语学习者，通过200小时左右的阅读，能够轻松达到中级英语水平，形成成熟的语感，掌握3500多单词和大量的短语，熟练掌握英语的各种句子结构，并能阅读一般英语原著。详见：《百万英语阅读计划读者手册》。
内容简介
语言是信息的载体。学习外语，可以接触用外语传达的信息，从语言学习带来快乐。如果你因为学习语言而愁眉苦脸，也许你的学习方法不对头了。通过读笑话学习英语是一种快乐而高效的方法，能消除语言学习中的紧张和对抗情绪，消除学习障碍，有助于激发积极态度。许多笑话都利用词语不同词义、用法引起歧义，逗人发笑的，所以通过这种笑话，有助于更好地对比学习。
例如：下面的一则笑话，就是利用的make一词的不同用法，达到幽默效果的。
“Is she making him a good wife?”
“Well, not exactly; but she’s making him a good husband.”
“她给他做了个好妻子了吗？”
“哦，不完全是这样；但是她在让他做个好丈夫。”
其中第一句是“主＋谓＋间宾＋直宾”结构，意思是：“给他做好妻子”；第二句是“主＋谓＋宾＋宾补”结构：“使他成为好丈夫”。这样，可以更好地理解、学习make的两种用法。
当然，在本书中，这种笑话为数不多，而且这种笑话也无法翻译成汉语，或者翻译后就不再有原来的幽默意味，只能用英语理解，所以只加注释。
教师可以将笑话在课堂中运用，能够活跃课堂气氛，加深学生对于内容的理解和记忆。有经验的老师都会准备许多笑话或者小故事，在适当的时机展示给学生。他会经常说：That reminds me of a joke/story. （这让我想起一个笑话/故事来。）这样的教师，学生不会不欢迎的。
中英文双语笑话
英语笑话(一)
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
纳卜竖 -- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话(二)
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America.
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这洞大种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话(三)
The doctor lives downstairs
Doctor, she said loudly, bouncing into the room, I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.
He surveyed her from head to foot. Madam, he said at length, I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs.
医生住在楼下
“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。
“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”
他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太弊册太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的'胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家――医生住在楼下。”
英语笑话(四)
Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles，boys?
Nick: Yes，sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night.
Teacher: Please tell us some thing about it.
Nick: Oh，sorry，sir. My father always says, Domestic shame should not be published.”
体育老师：孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗?
尼克：见过，老师，经常见。就在昨天夜里我还见过呢!
老师：那你给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。
尼克：啊，对不起，老师。我爸爸常说:“家丑不可外扬。”
英语笑话(五)
One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition C if I Am a Manager.
All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.
“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.
一天课上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇作文。
所有的学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。
“我在等我的秘书”。那孩子答道。
英语笑话(六)
A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. Can I help you? The man said, Sure. I've come to install the phone.
一个年轻人刚刚开始做生意，就租了一个漂亮的办公室。一天，他坐在办公室里，看到有一个人在外面，于是他就装作生意很忙的样子，拿起电话胡吹乱侃，还不停的甩出几个大数字，好像在谈一笔大买卖。
到了最后，他终于挂了电话，问来访的人，“有事儿嘛?”那个人回答，“我是来给你安装电话的。”
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